how to be less reactive
1. learn what triggers you. what is it, really, that is making you respond in such a way? this may involve shadow work, digging deep into your insecurities and noticing what circumstances trigger these. take a moment to observe when you are feeling reactive and note these down. it is difficult but worth it if your truly want to improve your interpersonal relationships and protect your peace of mind.
2. focus on responding, not reacting. take a moment to step back from the situation. are you exaggerating? overreacting? often it is our own insecurities that we are projecting onto others. take the time gather your thoughts and arguments, as hard as it is sometimes, before reacting in the heat of the moment. you are more likely to be understood and heard if you respond rationally than reacting emotionally.
3. nothing is personal. the majority of times people treat you in a disrespectful manner or rude tone, it is a reflection of them and their situation rather than you personally or it is often a projection of their worries and insecurities. take the time to practice empathy and, if this person is close to you, take time to truly understand their position. it is likely it is an issue they are dealing with themselves or something you have done which has triggered such issues or insecurities. try not to take things too personally; it is not a reflection of you.
